The Time I Had Pins in my Feet

So when I feel the tops of my feet, I have…well…horns, essentially.

These are the pins sticking out of my healing bones. After my bones were broken during bunion surgery, they were realigned and stabilized with scary-looking metal hooks. And so they’ve stayed since June, just waiting to poke up their sharp little curvy heads.

As the swelling in my feet go down, the pins are becoming more and more prominent, and are now sticking up and bruising my skin. My scar can’t fully heal while the pins are pushing on it from the inside, so they’ve got to go. I had an appointment with my surgeon yesterday to discuss the procedure, which turns out to be a bit more involved than I had anticipated.

Basically, the doctor will make a small incision over the pin, perhaps a centimeter wide, then yank on the exposed metal with pliers for all he’s worth. If he’s lucky, the pin will come out smoothly and relatively painlessly. If he’s not so lucky, the bone will have grown up over the head of the pin, and he’ll have to chip away at it until he can pull the pin free. If he’s really unlucky, the pin will have bent at some point while it was embedded in my bone, and it will be nearly impossible to remove without doing some painful damage. Then the incision will be stitched up, and I’ll have to keep my foot dry (AGAIN) for another ten days. Torture.

The doctor said this could (hopefully) all be performed under local anesthesia, though my mom, who has had pins removed from bones before, warned that it would still be plenty painful. Though injected anesthetic can numb skin and muscle, it apparently has no effect on bone, which is just bristling with nerve endings. When my mom had pins pulled from a broken finger, she said the pain was some of the worst she had ever experienced, and this is a woman who has had natural childbirth at home more than once. So…that’s daunting.

And so the nurses told me to be prepared to be put under IV sedation. Though the pin removal will be first attempted under local anesthetic, if I start freaking out, I’ll apparently be put down like an unruly circus animal. I’m really, really trying to avoid that outcome since it involves being escorted home on a Friday morning, which is a tough sell since all my friends/family work for a living.

So here’s hoping I won’t pussy out, and the whole thing will take five minutes TOPS. Or else I’ll scream and be injected with powerful drugs. Oh yeah, no pressure at all.

Read more:

• Pre-Surgery
• Surgery 1
• Post-surgery 1
• Surgery 2
• Post-surgery 2
• More Post-surgery
• Foot Pins 1
• Foot Pins 2
• 10 Months Later

The Time I Posted an Animated GIF

This is all. I just thought it was appropriate for the blog.

Via @THEALMIGHTYBEN via theCHIVE.

The Time I Drank Pumpkin Beer

So, I’ve sampled a lot of pumpkin-flavored beverages in my day. I’ve tried Brooklyn Brewery’s Post Road Pumpkin Ale, O’Fallon Brewery’s Pumpkin Ale (still my favorite), Morgan Street Brewery’s Pumpkin Honey Wheat, Coors’ Blue Moon Harvest Moon Pumpkin Ale, Samuel Adams Harvest Pumpkin Ale, Schlafly Pumpkin Ale, and Smuttynose Pumpkin Ale. And probably a few others that I can’t remember at the moment.

The point is, I like my pumpkins and booze to intermingle. So here are two reviews of varieties I tried for the first time this year.

Harpoon Pumpkin Cider
Boston, MA and Windsor, VT
Ingredients: fermented apple juice, pumpkin, cinnamon, ginger, cloves, and nutmeg.
140 calories, 4.8% ALC/VOL

• Looks: 7/10 – I actually don’t know since I never poured it into a glass, but instead drank it straight from the bottle. What can I say? I’m fancy. But as far as I can tell, it’s your standard clear cider drink.
• Smell: 8/10 – Smells heavily of apples (no surprise there) and cinnamon. Given the ingredients list, that’s no surprise.
• Taste: 6/10 – Though the pumpkin taste is certainly there eventually, it mostly tastes like apple cider first and foremost. It’s quite sweet, but has a slightly bitter aftertaste. It’s not bad at all, but not my favorite form of pumpkin booze either. When will we get a pumpkin-flavored vodka on the market?
• Overall: 7/10 – It’s mostly FINE. So maybe I should knock it down to a 6/10 or something. I always overrate my alcohol, mostly because I get buzzed after a few sips. Basically, when it comes to pumpkin alcohol, beer is still the best pairing. But hey, if you gotta have your harvest duo of apples and pumpkins TOGETHER, knock yourself out with this drink.

Shock Top Pumpkin Wheat
St. Louis, MO
Belgian-style wheat ale brewed with ripe pumpkins, nutmeg, cinnamon, and cloves.
168 calories, 5.2% ALC/VOL

• Looks: 8/10 – Um, looks like beer. Once again, I’ve come to this startling conclusion by peering into the top of the bottle, since I’m not using a glass.
• Smell: 5/10 – No pumpkin aroma whatsoever. If I didn’t know better, I’d say this smelled like a Budweiser. Maybe that’s just because Anheuser-Busch makes it? (Note: I took most of my college classes in Anheuser-Busch Hall. Way to go, Washington University, for making that building devoted to East Asian Studies.)
• Taste: 4/10 – I…don’t get it. I taste no pumpkin. Well, maybe a slight hint of spice one second after swallowing? Seriously, I’m confused. Did I get a messed up batch?
• Overall: 5/10 – I’m really disappointed by the lack of pumpkin flavor, but it’s okay as a regular beer. I suppose. Man, maybe I was wrong about beer being the proper complement to pumpkin. Apples are winning hands down at this point.

The Time I Bought Costumes

So, I’m a bit obsessed with Halloween and costumes in general.

Now, I’ve talked about costumes here before. I’ve dressed up as Hermione in Japan, a crazed Swan Lake ballerina, a space mouse (and one year, a space TIGER), and a 1920s flapper (TWICE).

So perhaps it’s no surprise that I’ve already purchased most of my costume for Halloween this year. And it’s pretty much all from China via eBay since I’m cheap. Can you figure out what I’m going to be?

 
What, did you not guess a skeletal undead gothic lolita? Because of course I’m going to be that. DUH.

The Time I Read MORE Non-Fiction Books

Two days ago, I posted five other non-fiction books inspired by the post 10 Non-fiction Books for the Novel Lover. So without further ado, I’ve selected five (slightly) less morbid non-fiction books I’ve enjoyed over the past few years or so.
 

• Dog Man: An Uncommon Life on a Faraway Mountain by Martha Sherrill
   
  

  Though the Akita is a fairly well-known Japanese breed of dog today, at the end of WWII, there were only 16 left in existence. This is the story of one man’s mission to single-handedly save the breed, giving up his job and home in the process. The snow country where the dogs thrive is forbidding and lonely, but it’s a fascinating story full of great characters and dogs with big personalities.

 

• The Translator: A Tribesman’s Memoir of Darfur by Daoud Hari
   
  

  A memoir of navigating among the genocide of Darfur as a translator who himself was victimized. How does one escape a terrible war, then reenter as a mediator? Heartbreaking and terrifying, it’s a unique first-person account of the atrocities in Sudan.

 

• The Gift of Fear and Other Survival Signals that Protect Us From Violence by Gavin De Becker
   
  

  This is a book that I’ve recommended to just about everyone, especially all of my female friends. It shows you that ignoring your own intuition could be the last mistake that you ever make. The author is an expert on violence and personal safety, and he provides insights via real-world examples that reveal the power of fear. Self-preservation may be the most innate of human instincts, but too many people (especially women) have been taught to ignore the signals that might save their lives.

 

• The Forsaken: An American Tragedy in Stalin’s Russia by Tim Tzouliadis
   
  

  A sad tale of the American citizens who defected to Russia in search of a Communist ideal, but were instead arrested and “vanished” to the prison camps of Siberia. The tragedy of idealism shattered and forgotten is poignant and frightening.

 

• Dogs and Demons: Tales from the Dark Side of Modern Japan by Alex Kerr
   
  

  I almost hesitate to recommend this book since I take issue with some of its statements and generalizations, but I still think it’s an interesting look at Japan’s economic rise and fall, and the inept bureaucracy that keeps the country stagnant. Written by a foreigner, the book nonetheless has an insider feel, and inherent hypocrisies are detailed and bemoaned. How can a country that ostensibly feels such a kinship with nature cover most of its landscape with unnecessary thick sheets of concrete? Despite the rich history in Kyoto, ancient buildings are toppled in the name of “progress,” though the future towards which Japan strives seems unclear, even to those who are supposedly in control.

The Time I Read Non-Fiction Books

Inspired by this post 10 Non-fiction Books for the Novel Lover, I thought I’d list some more books along the same line. I read primarily novels, but given my morbid fascination with crime, disasters, and mayhem, I do occasionally dip my toe into the world of non-fiction.
 

• Columbine by Dave Cullen

  

  A recounting of what happened before, on, and after the school shooting at Columbine High School in 1999. Drawing on hundreds of interviews, thousands of pages of police files, FBI psychologists, and the boy’s tapes and diaries, the author gives the first complete account of the Columbine tragedy. I was in 9th grade when the shooting occurred, and afterwards my school practiced lock-down drills and gave lessons on how to barricade the doors with tables and desks.

 

• The Killer of Little Shepherds: A True Crime Story and the Birth of Forensic Science by Douglas Starr

  

  The true story of the 19th-century French serial killer Joseph Vacher, who is thought to have killed at least 25 people. Forensic science, then only in its infancy, eventually catches up to the murderer. I thought it was a really interesting entry into the history of forensic science, and what preceded more modern techniques like fingerprint analysis and trace evidence.

 

• Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach
   
  

  What are dead bodies used for after they’ve been donated to science? As it turns out, a lot more than you might have expected. Far from the dissection table, cadavers have furthered science’s understanding of decomposition, transportation safety, footwear, land mines, and more.

 

• Into Thin Air: A Personal Account of the Mount Everest Disaster by Jon Krakauer
   
  

  A terrifying (to me at least) memoir regarding a deadly snow storm that settled onto Mount Everest’s peak in 1996. Human error and unforgiving mother nature combine to kill several seasoned climbers in their quest for the summit.

 

• Death’s Acre: Inside the Legendary Forensic Lab the Body Farm Where the Dead Do Tell Tales by Bill Bass and Jon Jefferson
   
  

  This book is all about the Body Farm near the University of Tennessee Medical Center. Essentially, it’s a small plot of land where bodies are left to decay in kinds of settings. How can the life cycle of insects devouring a cadaver help pinpoint the time of death? What about the fluids that leak from a decomposing body – could they help solve a crime? How do moisture and temperature affect the appearance of a body? How can scientists be fooled into thinking a 150-year-old corpse was buried only last month? What can truly be determined from nothing more than a skeleton? The stories can be slightly disturbing, but still fascinating.

I’ll post more on Friday, and I promise they won’t be so morbid. Maybe.

Sigh.

Okay, no promises.