Home > Anxiety, Bitching, Disturbing, Neurosis, New York, Sad, Strange, Weird, Worry > The Time I Bitched About NYC

The Time I Bitched About NYC

So I’ve developed a disturbing habit since living in New York that has only gotten worse.

While maneuvering through crowds of people, especially during my morning commute, I find myself repeating the mantra, “I hate people. I hate people. I hate people.” over and over again. Yeah, not the sign of a serial killer at all. But as I’m being jostled and stepped on, it’s all I can think about.

At first, this phrase was limited to my head, but as the years progressed, I started saying it out loud without realizing it. This unconscious mutter continues nonstop as I push through the sweating masses of humanity on the bus, in the subway, or on the sidewalk. Together with my frizzy hair and darting eyes, my audible hatred of people reveals me to be, in fact, insane.

However, since this is New York, my ranting doesn’t even merit a second glance. But I can see its effects nonetheless. Dull-eyed commuters subtly back away from me, my craziness forming an impenetrable bubble that parts the crowd like the Red Sea. Their gazes slide over me, only registering my ramblings in an subconscious way that warns them to steer clear. So in a way, this bizarre habit has actually improved my commute, but only by convincing others that I am a fucking lunatic who might just stab someone.

Oh, also, New York is dirty and expensive, but I think you probably already knew that.

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