Home > Anxiety, Bitching, Midwest, My Mom, Neurosis, Ohio, Sad, School, Weird > The Time I Wore Bathing Suits as Underwear

The Time I Wore Bathing Suits as Underwear

Adolescence is a tough time for a girl.

Since I was too embarrassed to ask my mom to go bra shopping, I went without until a group of friends cornered me at a middle school dance and informed me that “it was time.” Evidently, my burgeoning bosoms were downright distracting, and required restraint. Check out all that alliteration there. Aw, yeah.

Anyway, I finally managed to work up the courage to ask for a bra, to which my mom responded with a mild shrug. “Sure, we’ll go to the mall this weekend.” But then came the mortifying selection process, which involved my mom running around a crowded department store and holding training bras up to my chest.

For any guys reading, a training bra is an elastic piece of fabric with no underwire. It’s essentially useless unless you’re a AA cup, but it’s main function is to simply get you used to wearing an scratchy new piece of clothing on your chest. Until you grow accustomed to the sensation of a bra, it’s incredibly uncomfortable. You futz with it constantly, waiting until the end of the day when you can rip the accursed thing off your body. Later come underwire bras, which are typically even worse. It took years of shopping before I managed to finally locate comfortable bras, though they cost $50 a pop.

Anyway, though I finally had a few training bras to cover my offending boobs, I still felt extremely self-conscious when changing for gym class. I tried to perfect the tried-and-true “show nothing” method of changing, which involved twisting yourself into a pretzel under your shirt to put on new clothes while showing absolutely no undergarments whatsoever. But pubescent girls are always checking out each other’s underwear, apparently, since I was called out on my raggedy white training bras on a regular basis. I was reluctant to repeat the department store walk of shame again with my mom, and so just kept wearing what I had.

Eventually, I hit on the idea of ordering “bras” from J Crew under the guise of bathing suits. They had several underwire bikini options, which I somehow felt was less embarrassing than asking my mom to order me things from Victoria’s Secret. My new bikini bathing suit never saw the light of day at a pool or beach. Instead, I wore it as underwear every gym day.

At first, I got compliments from the other girls on my new purple bra. But soon, as I wore it day in and day out, people became concerned. Was this the only bra I owned? Finally, someone realized that the fabric was pretty unusual for a bra, and they recognized it as a bathing suit. I had been caught! I retired the suit immediately, worried that the gossip mill would spread around my shameful secret.

The next week I finally just asked my mom for new bras, which turned out to be no problem at all. Ugh, I have no desire to ever go back to that overly self-conscious time.

  1. Andie
    June 9, 2012 at 10:29 am

    For a while one summer I wore one of my bikini tops as underwear too. Mum had bought me a couple of training bras for my 12th birthday, but I hated wearing them. Always a bit of a tomboy, I hated the way that the bras felt and the fact that they emphasised the shape of my budding breasts, so for several months I refused to wear them and stuck with wearing a vest under my shirts. Eventually of course my boobs grew a litte more and began to be noticeable (and a little uncomfortable) jiggling around under my T shirt when I was running around. During the summef holidays, still reluctant to wear the hated bras, I dug a couple of my old bikini tops out of my drawer and wore them instead. They were the old fashioned nylon kids bikinis without any shaping at all so they just flattened my boobs against my chest and gave me back my boyish shape.

    Of course this was only a temporary reprieve and when it came time to go back to school I had to agree with mum that I needed to start wearing the bras. They still came off as soon as I got home though!

    • June 9, 2012 at 1:53 pm

      Wow, I wasn’t the only one! Yeah, puberty is rough. I still hate wearing bras, but it’s just too noticeable without one.

  2. Andie
    June 10, 2012 at 8:05 am

    After years of bra wearing I’ve gradually weaned myself off them! At I’m barely a B cup and tend to wear a Sloggi croptop or camisole as an extra layer under my shirts or blouses so it’s not too noticeable. Excersising without a bra is still a no no though (just too much movement to be comfortable) so I still wear a sports bra when I’m jogging or at the gym.

    • June 10, 2012 at 11:24 am

      Good for you! I’m more of a C-cup though, so bras will probably be in my future for a while. Wah wahhhhhh.

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