Home > Alcohol, Christmas, Drinking > The Time I Drank Strange Booze

The Time I Drank Strange Booze

So, yet another title that could apply to most any week of my life.

But it’s true; I’m a sucker for novelty, and I actively seek out drinks that would make most others gag. If it’s got an ingredient I’ve never heard of, I want to try it! This means I’ve had a lot of different kinds of absinthe, a German honey liquor (it had a bear attacking a bee hive on it), and many kinds of exotic cactus mixed into margaritas.

Honestly, the subjects of this post aren’t even strange, but they’re still probably stuff that none of my friends would ever buy or taste. But since they really aren’t that weird, I guess that makes me a LIAR.

Anyway, first we have two types of cider. I got pretty excited in London last month when I walked into a liquor store and saw an ENTIRE FRIDGE full of nothing but hard cider. I’ve had a few varieties of Woodchuck cider (apple, pear, and raspberry) as well as Original Sin and Strongbow in the states. But looking into that fridge in London was like looking into the mouth of madness. There were ciders available in every conceivable fruit flavor and spice combination, and colors ranged from clear to violently green or blue. I was the girliest thing I had seen in quite a while, and I nearly bought half a dozen ciders before I realized I was flying to America the next day. Unless I wanted to vomit cider all over my seatmate, I figured I had better tone it down.

We have Brothers Strawberry and Pear Cider on the left, and Rekorderlig Winter Cider on the right.

As you can see, the Brothers cider is alarmingly red, and looks just like Kool-Aid when poured into a glass. I had to keep my four-year-old niece from chugging it down since she thought it was juice. Ugh.

  • Looks: 5/10 – This stuff dyed my tongue red, which was slightly disturbing, but I’ve seen worse looking booze.
  • Smell: 3/10 – Like the most artificial strawberry candy you’ve ever had.
  • Taste: 4/10 – I have quite the sweet tooth, but even this was too much for me.
  • Overall: 4/10 – I wouldn’t buy this again, unless I was maybe 15 years old. My brother and his wife both tried it, and also hated it.

Although I was trying a “Winter” cider in the spring, I was more excited for the Rekorderlig since it boasted the flavors of apples, vanilla, and cinnamon inside.

  • Looks: 8/10 – Pretty much clear and bubbly, like Sprite.
  • Smell: 9/10 – I swear to God, it smelled like Christmas.
  • Taste: 9/10 – Not nearly as sweet as Brothers, and really well-balanced. I could taste all of the flavors claimed on the bottle, and they were damn tasty.
  • Overall: 9/10 – I really wish I could buy this in the states since I’d love to try it warm as well as cold. If you ever see this while you’re in Europe, pick up a bottle or two!

The next drinks to be subjected to my not-at-all discerning palate are two “Freeze & Squeeze” offerings from Parrot Bay. I got these at my local supermarket in NYC for $2.50 each. The idea is that you stick the pouches in the freezer for a few hours, then squeeze the resulting slush into a glass. It’s sort of like frozen Capri Suns for adults. I was wary as soon as I saw the words “malt liquor” on the front of the pouch, but decided to give it a go since it’s in the mid-80’s with 95% humidity IN MY APARTMENT. We’ve got piña colada and strawberry daiquiri flavors here.

Piña Colada

  • Looks: 7/10 – Nothing offensive, but this has none of the creaminess you might expect in a piña colada. It’s a translucent slush that you might find on a warm day in winter after a snowfall.
  • Smell: 5/10 – Slightly, vaguely pineapple-scented. It almost has no scent at all, to be honest, but what you can smell is reminiscent of a bad Glade plug-in.
  • Taste: 6/10 – Not terrible, but not at all like a piña colada I’d make at home. The pineapple and coconut flavors are there, but are supremely artificial. Perhaps the mix was once shown pictures of the two fruits, and told to “do its best.” The package states that it “contains natural flavors,” but since there’s no ingredient list, I’m skeptical.
  • Overall: 6/10 – I would probably only buy this again if I was desperate and too lazy to buy frozen pineapple and coconut cream. Though I’d actually like to try adding some cream or something to this in the future. I have a feeling that might change the texture enough to make it more palatable. Though honestly, after only 3 minutes, the thing has almost completely thawed into liquid. Lovely.

Strawberry Daiquiri

  • Looks: 9/10 – Looks decently like the package, and the slush is the right texture.
  • Smell: 7/10 – Smells sort of like scratch-n-sniff strawberry. Namely, artificial, but I was expecting that.
  • Taste: 7/10 – Definitely not like homemade, but it tastes sort of like a chain restaurant’s attempt at a daiquiri.
  • Overall: 7/10 – This one I might buy again to take along to the beach or something, if I ever actually did things like that. It also seems to be melting at a much slower rate than the piña colada, which is a plus.
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