Home > Animals, Japan, Scary, Stupidity > The Time I Was Attacked by a Monkey

The Time I Was Attacked by a Monkey

November 30, 2011 Leave a comment Go to comments

When I lived in Japan, my apartment was in a tiny fishing village in the mountains. There was a lot, and I mean a LOT, of wildlife there. I once nearly ran into a herd of about 10 wild boars with my car, and bears apparently lived behind my house, though I never saw one. I saw snakes almost every day, and huge yellow-striped spiders were all over the place. Wild ferrets were frequently roadkill, as were tanuki (yes, of Mario fame). I checked my shoes each morning for poisonous mukade centipedes, whose bite could put you in the hospital. But monkeys were the most common animals of all, and came out at dawn and dusk each day.

I wasn’t afraid of the monkeys, though they traveled in well-organized packs, and the students were required to come in from recess if a troop happened to come by. I knew them only from those adorable National Geographic photos that showed them lounging in natural hot springs in the snow. You know, these guys:

Awww. But I had been warned that these monkeys were more dangerous than they appeared. A student in a neighboring town had scars all over her cheeks from a monkey attack when she was a toddler. They were known to be more aggressive towards women than men, and could apparently tell your sex by your smell.

Despite all this, I had been angling to get a decent photo of one for ages. Every time one came by, I never had my camera. But one day one passed right by my car, and I pulled over to get a shot.

This one was a large male, as evidenced by his big red balls swinging in the breeze. He was as big as a medium-sized dog, and he didn’t much appreciate the flashes of my camera. Then I made the mistake of looking into his eyes. This was, evidently, a BAD THING. Nobody had ever warned me about making eye contact with one of the monkeys, but as I later found out, doing so is the equivalent of giving it the finger. It came running after me, and the next few pictures on my camera are just blurs of grass as I ran for my life. I scrabbled at my car door, and threw myself inside before I floored the accelerator. I looked in my rear view mirror, but didn’t even see the monkey. Perhaps he had just started to run at me to fake me out?

Who knows, but don’t let their cuteness fool you. They are VICIOUS!

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Categories: Animals, Japan, Scary, Stupidity
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