Home > Animals, Fun Childhood, My Sister > The Time I Ate Lizard Eggs

The Time I Ate Lizard Eggs

I used to try and prank my sister a lot. Though she’s almost five years older than me and a lovely person, she is also a trusting sort and quite gullible. Most of my pranks fell flat or were so unnecessarily complicated that I couldn’t pull them off, but sometimes I’d hit on something simple and plausible. The perfect trap.

We had iguanas as pets many years ago. Iguana #1, named Iris, escaped the first day we had him in the house. I had picked him up and was carrying him around when he lept from my hands and skittered down into an A/C vent in the floor. My initial reaction involved tears so copious that my parents ran out and got another iguana the next day, this one named Keirio.

Iris eventually turned up two weeks later when I heard a blood-curdling scream from my sister’s room. Iris was sitting on top of her money bank, sort of a greyish-black color and half dead. But some time back in the sunny cage eventually perked him up, and we were left with two iguanas.

Now, there used to be a candy called Certs Cool Mint Drops that looked exactly like tiny eggs. Why the people at Certs would choose that shape, I don’t know, but they gave me a plan.

One day, I put a small cluster of Mint Drops in the corner of the iguanas’ cage, nestled gently into the wood chips that served as their floor. Putting on my best “Holy shit!” face, I ran to my sister and shouted, “They’ve had eggs!”

My sister was and still is a pretty huge nature buff, and she was something of an expert on reptilian eggs. We crowded around the cage, oohing and aahing, and she began to tell me all about how lizard eggs have soft, leathery shells.

While still nodding along to her lecture, I opened the lid of the cage and reached my hand towards the eggs. My sister was horrified, and told me not to touch them, but it was too late. I gingerly picked up an egg, acting for all the world as if the miracle of life was in my hands.

Then I promptly popped it in my mouth.

I can still remember my sister’s screams. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her more disgusted at that moment, and her face distorted even more when she realized the eggs were mints.

It was a lot harder to trick her after that, but so worth it.

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  1. August 27, 2012 at 5:45 pm

    GAH! I wish you could have been my sister because this is the type of crap we did in my house, too!!! Only, we didn’t have iguanas. We had chocolate chips and bunnies.

    • August 28, 2012 at 12:10 pm

      We had a rabbit, too, but I never thought to do a chocolate chip prank! Oops, opportunity lost.

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