Home > Bitching, Depressing, Disturbing, My Dad, Ohio, Sad, Silliness, Sleep, Weird, Worry > The Time I Slept Through a Fire Alarm

The Time I Slept Through a Fire Alarm

Lightning Strikes Jesus Statue

As covered before in this blog, I really like sleep. As in, I would gladly pay a stranger $100 each morning to allow me to sleep a few more hours. I would go bankrupt, but damn it, I would be well-rested.

To wake up for work, I have multiple alarms set up all over my room, and none of them work. I will get up in a stupor, walk to the offending alarm, switch it off, and fall back into bed without even realizing what I’m doing. I have snooze alarms as well, which are ignored each and every morning. As a result, my arrival time to work has been getting steadily later and later, but hooray, I haven’t been fired yet!

In junior high school, the smoke alarm went off in my parents’ house since my dad had burned some toast. I mean, the damn bread must have been a flaming chunk of wheat given how far away the smoke alarm was from the kitchen. In fact, the alarm was directly outside my bedroom. I blissfully slept through nearly the whole thing, though I do vaguely remember rousing myself slightly, thinking, “Hmm, that must be the fire alarm. Well, if it’s serious, my dad will wake me up,” and going right back to bed, the alarm wailing the entire time.

After telling my dad this, he said I had far too much faith in him. Evidently, he would’ve fled the house in his bathrobe, perhaps stopping to scoop up a cat, but nothing more. Sigh.

I also once slept through a tree falling on our house. A massive, full-sized Ohio beast of a tree which shook the entire house left not a single impression on me. My sister and her friend once bodily picked me up off a couch where I had been sleeping, dropped me from a few feet up, and I didn’t so much as twitch.

And yet a single tweeting bird these days will wake me up even with ear plugs, so I don’t know. I’m doomed to either coma-like slumber or the delicate sleep cycle of a paranoid insomniac. Lovely.

  1. June 25, 2013 at 8:50 pm | #1

    Haha, glad to see i’m not alone! Getting out of the bed in the morning is literally the hardest thing for me to do. I have a sonic boom alarm+vibrator that shakes the bed, PLUS 2 alarms on my phone which require me to solve difficult math problems before the alarm goes off. Somehow though, I end up back in the bed right afterwards instead of getting up :(. I have a similar story also, where I slept through my college dorm’s fire alarm, which is literally like the loudest thing I’ve ever heard when i’m awake! I only woke up when campus police, who was opening every door to make sure everyone left the building, found me, haha.

    • June 26, 2013 at 9:46 am | #2

      Oh, wow, I’m at least not that bad! I hope? I don’t have an alarm that shakes the bed – if I did, I think I’d freak out every day and think I was in the midst of an earthquake.

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